Hell today announced a new Pilot Colonization Program to relocate demons, devils, incubi, succubi, and Damned Souls to the surface of the Earth, starting as early as 2012. Lucifer Jr., Senior Executive Vice-President of Hades, explained the rationale behind the new program: “From our perspective, warming Earth temperatures offers an infernally perfect solution for the overcrowding we’ve been experiencing in Hell for the last 66 years. As the planet heats up, Earth will present a terrific opportunity for Hell’s growth and expansion.”