@realdonaldtrump, reversing years of denial, declared that climate change is real and it will make America More Greater.

Noting that major competitors are losing the fertile land war, Trump declared that all public lands will be reviewed for climate restoration potential.

“Water is life,” he said. “Everybody knows that. I was the first to say it.”

“China, Russia, India, Saudi Arabia, Africa – so many countries have ruined their land – so much ruined land – but we have lots of it and we’re going to make Trump Gardens of Eden everywhere.”

The Bureau of Land Management owns 248.3 million acres of public land. The forest service owns 192.9 million acres. “So much land. More trees get us more oxygen than any other country. We will be the oxygen winners. People will beg us for oxygen. Will we give it to them? Who knows?” The crowds in Iowa cheered.

In addition, Trump wrongly stated that the United States owns the 2% of US lands the tribes now manage.

Trump negotiated a deal giving Trump Hotels exclusive right to build Lodges at every entrance to eco-reserves, and the Tribes offered up to 10% of their net earnings to a Trump surrogate business in exchange for measurable levels of gigatons of carbon in their soils, gallons of water in their aquifers and percent of tree cover over the land they “manage”.

“I’m the Teddy Roosevelt of the 21st Century. There will be Trump National Forests everywhere.”

Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer went on record as doubting the deal and wanting to study it. “We can’t just sell America,” they stated. In contrast, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and Bernie Sanders spoke at the Trump Iowa rally saying, “We don’t care which party does the deal, we just need a Green New Deal and if it needs to be a Trump Green New Deal to save civilization, we are ready to work together.”

Trump took the microphone again to say he’s the FDR of the 21st century too.

Asked for comment, leaders of the regenerative agriculture and permaculture movements welcomed Trumps reversal with caution.  “We’ll believe it when we see the green,” they said, “but he offered us positions in the new Trump Land Water and Oxygen Department and three years of authority over designs, mandates, and implementation.”

Three years, according to AOC, is enough to start a New Green Restoration Revolution.

Elizabeth Warren, offered the position of head of the new combined Trump Bureau of Land Management and Indian Affairs with a 3-year guaranteed tenure, is considering withdrawing her bid for the Democratic ticket.

At the Iowa rally, Trump said, “Jobs jobs jobs. You’re getting good jobs with good pay. There’s a lot of money in restoration.” Everyone turned their MAGA hats backwards to say they are all in with the Trump Greener New Deal. “Asked his response, a Trump supporter said, “We knew it all along. Trump 2020. Woot woot.”


Teaser photo credit: By Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America – Donald Trump, CC BY-SA 2.0